First Friends Meeting
Matthew 18:12-20
Quaker Testimonies, Part 4: Community
Doug Gwyn

This morning, we continue with part four of our series on the Quaker testimonies, the testimony of community. So far, we have looked at the testimonies of truth/integrity, simplicity, and equality. It’s easy to look at these simply as a set of Quaker ‘values’ – this, that, and the other thing. Like some random stars in the sky. But the Quaker testimonies are more like a constellation of stars. You have to ‘connect the dots’ and see the pattern – like the Big Dipper, or Orion’s belt. Once you have learned to recognize those constellations, you can look up in the sky from many different places on earth and readily find those patterns. And those patterns can help you find your direction here on earth.

In a similar way, the Quaker testimonies together form a pattern we can learn to recognize in our lives, even in very different life circumstances. And the overall shape of the Quaker testimonies can help you find direction. They help you in decision-making, as you try to discern God’s will in your life. I began this series with the testimony of truth/integrity. Wil Cooper has convinced me that it’s really the beginning point and common denominator of all the testimonies. We know the truth by the light in our consciences, “that of God in every one,” the light of Christ within. We first have to locate that moral compass within ourselves. Then we learn how to return to it and find our moral center and our direction in life. We integrate the pieces of who we really are, and let go of the false wishes and misdirections that aren’t really us.

In the process of becoming more whole, more integrated, living with greater integrity, we are inevitably moving toward greater simplicity (the second testimony in our series). We live and act with greater economy of effort (we have to, because we have less energy as the years go on!). We work on ourselves, to wean ourselves from grabbing after every bright, shiny thing the market dangles in front of us. There’s a lot of letting go along the spiritual path. Even the people and things we need to hold onto – we learn not to cling or try to control so much. But we remain faithful with what’s important. That’s all part of moving into simplicity.

In that process, we are also learning to live out our ideals of equality, the third testimony, that we looked at last week. Equality is most of all allowing the space – the space in our hearts, and space in society – for others to be who they are. Freedom to become what they are called to become. We live in an unequal and often prejudiced society, so we constantly have to work toward greater equality. We work on it in the political process, to be sure that people enjoy equal rights and equal opportunity. Our society has a long way to go still in racial equality, equality between women and men, and the full rights of gays and lesbians. But we can enact something of that greater equality now, in the way we live our own lives, and the kind of community we enjoy here at First Friends.

That brings us to the fourth testimony in the Quaker constellation – the testimony of community. This testimony builds on the others, I think. As we work to live according to the truth in our hearts, begin to simplify our lives, create greater equality in our relationships, then we can come together at a deeper level, with greater solidarity. When each of us seeks to live with greater integrity, and has a voice in our Meeting, we can seek God’s will together as a community. We can dare to hope that God’s light, God’s Spirit, will actually lead us into a unity of hearts and minds. We don’t have to play ‘Pastor knows best’ (and I readily admit, I don’t know best!). And we don’t have to vote and let the majority impose its will on the minority. We can trust God’s Spirit to lead us into unity. It’s not always easy. It sometimes takes longer to make a decision this way, as many of you have experienced. Michael Birkel, in his little book Silence and Witness observes that you may make a decision quickly by majority rule. But moving from decision to implementation may be harder and take longer, because you may have a disgruntled minority to overcome or placate along the way. By contrast, decisions by the sense of the Spirit, make take longer to achieve. But usually, they can move more quickly to implementation, because everybody has owned the decision. Perhaps not everyone is thrilled with the decision – some may have preferred another option. But they didn’t choose to stand in the way of the decision. Of course, if you think a decision is really wrong, potentially harmful, you need to stand against the majority. But most of the time, you can see some merits in a decision, even if it wasn’t your own first choice.

The testimony of community can mean many things. It can mean holding all things in common, as the earliest Church did at Jerusalem, according to Acts. Most of us are not ready to go there. But we are ready to be generous with our time and money when a need arises in the congregation. And I’ve seen Friends in this Meeting respond many times to crises among us in that way. But a sense of spiritual community is the foundation for anything we do with our time and money. The sense of unity we feel when we move into Open Worship is our cornerstone to building community. The beautiful silence and stillness in the room is something we all create together. Not everyone will be moved to speak out of the silence, but we all share in creating that hush. And that hush creates the space for God’s Spirit to move and do beautiful things in our hearts. We have only brief silences in our committee meetings and our Monthly Meetings for business. But the sense of community and cooperation we find in those meetings is grounded in the way we worship together here every Sunday.

Early Friends created what we today call ‘Quaker process’ – our way of decision-making. It emerged out of the way they were already worshipping and making decisions together as a Spirit-led people. But they also found these patterns confirmed by what they read in Scripture. In particular, they found helpful this passage in Matthew 18 Leslie has read this morning. Jesus instructs his disciples on how to resolve conflicts among themselves. He insists that people work these things out one-to-one, if at all possible. It’s so easy to start complaining to other people, rather than work it out with the person who has offended you. But that creates tensions in the group. And it can freeze individuals out of the group sometimes. Jesus tells his disciples they should bring other people into the conflict only if they can’t work it out one-to-one. You start with just a couple other people. If they can’t work it out, bring more people into it. The whole congregation may have to decide the matter. But you don’t really want it to come to that. Settle the matter on as small a scale as possible.

Rereading this passage a few weeks ago, I noticed for the first time that Matthew puts these instructions together with the parable of the 99 sheep. I realized that the parable counterbalances Jesus’ instructions on settling arguments. You can have everybody ganging up on one or two people, telling them they’re wrong, making them feel pretty unwelcome. But in the parable of the sheep, the 99 aren’t telling the one, you’ve gone astray – and why don’t you just keep on going! No, the shepherd leaves the 99, goes after the one, and brings it back into the fold. The shepherd rejoices more over recovering the lost sheep than over the 99 who stayed together. I even suspect that sometimes, when the shepherd goes after the one stray, the other 99 sometimes follow the shepherd and they all join the so-called stray in a new place. So not only does this parable offer a caution against rejecting those who stray, or just don’t fit in. It might even suggest that sometimes the ‘stray’ is opening new territory the rest of us need to explore too. Quaker history is full of examples of individuals who many thought were straying. But their faithfulness and integrity eventually brought Friends to see new things, to find kinds of unity. There was Lucretia Mott on the abolition of slavery and the rights of women. More recently, there was Jim Corbett on giving sanctuary to political refugees. Those are only a couple examples.

What Jesus teaches about settling conflicts applies to decision-making in general. Any decision where multiple options are strongly held is potentially a conflict. So we need to be careful. All our testimonies come to bear on the way we make these decisions, on each step we take in a new direction. So we need to see the whole constellation of testimonies if we’re going to grow in any one of them. And remember: we call them ‘testimonies’ because the way we live communicates what we really believe. We have to keep reminding ourselves of these testimonies, and live consciously and intentionally in the light and love of God. Because everything we do communicates – to our children, to our neighbors, to our co-workers. Yikes!

Moving now into Open Worship, I will read two Advices and Queries from Britain Yearly Meeting’s Quaker Faith & Practice. #15 addresses us as individuals: “Do you take part as often as you can in meetings for Church affairs? Are you familiar enough with our Church government to contribute to its disciplined processes? Do you consider difficult questions with an informed mind as well as a generous and loving spirit? Are you prepared to let your insights and personal wishes take their place alongside those of others, or be set aside as the meeting seeks the right way forward? If you cannot attend, uphold the meeting prayerfully.” #18 addresses us as a Meeting: “How can we make the meeting a community in which each person is accepted and nurtured, and strangers are welcome? Seek to know one another in the things which are eternal. Bear the burden of each other’s failings and pray for one another. As we enter with tender sympathy into the joys and sorrows of each other’s lives, ready to give help and to receive it, our meeting can be a channel for God’s love and forgiveness.”